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Mommy Wars

So, apparently there is a mommy war or two rampaging around these here parts (or, perhaps, just some outrage over people trying to inflame those wars)…
Just to clear things up here, on my own little part of the internet, here is my take on these issues:
1. As long as you are not actively endangering your child, I believe you are doing what is best for your family, even if it is the exact opposite of what I would do
2. I will try not to judge you (out loud) for your choices (again, unless there is a true safety issue involved), and I hope you will do the same for me

Aaaaaand… yup. That’s about it.

However, just to be clear to all three of you who actually come over here to say hello once in awhile (Hi, you! and you! and you! Thanks for dropping by!), here is where I/my family stands on some of the issues that seem to flare up into MAJOR! DRAMA! every once in awhile, for your own (internal) judgy-mc-judgerson pleasure:

SAHM vs. WAHM vs. working mom: I work full-time, 40+ hour weeks. Which is actually a lot less than the job I initially had immediately post-partum, which required 80 hour weeks and me to go back 2 weeks post-partum. Um, yeah. I lasted 3 months, quit, and am here now. Who knows what the future will bring?

Daycare vs. Nanny: Daycare. Have you seen how much a nanny costs, yo? All joking aside, daycare is what works best for us; yes, cost is a factor, but we also like the benefits of social interactions, building up the immune system (though the attendant runny nose from November through til… when? May? June? Please let it be dry by then! is NOT FUN, oh no indeed), etc etc.

Breast vs. Formula: Breast. I wanted it to work, and amazingly, it did. Really, really well. Boobs just happen to be Meeka’s “thing.” Now? I’m worried about ever getting her off them!

Baby-led weaning vs. purees: I really wanted BLW to work for us – it sounded so great. But. Meeka loves her food, and she looooooooooves her spoon (yeah, don’t ask), and she got neither when trying to feed herself. And then she got angry. And fussy. Which led to me getting fussy. There was some crying involved (and it might not have been just her) So, purees it is – and she LOVES them, gobbles them up, and is back to being a happy baby come meal time.

Make-your-own food vs. store-bought: I make our baby food (though Meeks has had a jar or two of the store-bought stuff), mostly because, dude. Baby food be expensive. And I can make my own, and know exactly what’s in it, for pennies. Plus, I like to cook. Even if it is just pureed peas.

CIO vs. other methods of sleep training: I’m a wuss. I can’t let her cry (and my husband is even worse). That being said, there is crying and there is fussing. And for Meeka, there is a very obvious difference. Crying = loud, high-pitched, will not stop. Fussing = quieter, lower, usually lasts only a minute or so. I swoop in for the cries, oh yes I do. But I let her fuss herself out. So, during a typical night – we have a couple of times when I comfort and nurse her, and a couple of times when I wait and watch. And that’s what works for us.

Crib vs. Co-Sleeping vs. Other sleeping arrangements: I was soooooo sure I wouldn’t co-sleep before Meeka came along. Mostly because it scared me. I thought I might smush the baby. Now that she’s here? We do what works. Initially, she slept in a bassinet next to our bed. Then that didn’t work for her, so she slept in our bed next to me. Then we transitioned her to her crib. Then she got sick and regressed, and we co-slept in the daybed in her room. Now we’re progressing back to where we were, and she sleeps half the night (or so) in her crib, and half the night in bed next to me. And we all are getting better sleep this way.

Disposable vs. Cloth diapers: Cloth. I could be all “the environment! oh, the environment!” but… um… that’s great and all, but it’s mostly because 1. cost (please see above re: daycare, food, etc. We be cheap bastards) and 2. dude, they’re so cute!

Baby-wearing vs. other forms of baby-toting: All of the above? We baby-wear and baby-carry and use a stroller and really, like it all. Anything to schlep this big, happy baby around!

Now, I am sure there are other hot-button mommy issues I’ve forgotten… Feel free to remind me of ’em, and I’ll give you our take for more of your judging pleasure! 😉

Categories: parenting questions
  1. 2012/01/20 at 11:51 am



  2. 2012/01/20 at 11:52 am

    Just kidding. Love you and your parenting style.

    • 2012/01/20 at 2:06 pm

      As if I couldn’t figure that out 😉

      Love ya too!

  1. 2012/01/19 at 1:09 pm

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