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situational

2012/05/09 3 comments

Not to take away anything I wrote last week, because it is still true and I still mean it, but to qualify… first and foremost, PMS! Oh, how I forgot about you! And oh, how you made sure I remembered with a vengeance!

But beyond those bitch hormones, I’ve been thinking about the WHY lately, and tried to articulate it to my lil sis the other day… And what I’ve come up with, is that it is situational. Or perhaps, locational. Take this exact same scenario, but plonk us down in a different city/town/etc? I’m pretty sure things would look VERY different…

Why?

Well, some of it is the pressure-cooker environment of New York; no matter what field you are in you feel it, but in the one my husband is in (and that I opted out of temporarily)? It’s even more intense. You get paid less and work more than people in the same field outside of the city, all for the “prestige” of living and training in NYC. And yes, there are benefits to this – once you are done. When you are in the middle of it? IT SUCKS DONKEYBALLS.

Feeding into this – or perhaps, stemming from it? – is the “paid less” part translating into my frustrations because anywhere else, we could more easily get through this rough patch by throwing money at it for a little while – hire a cleaner, eat more take-out, etc. But here? Yes, yes, there are ethnic cuisines of whatever obscure corner of the world you want to explore on every block. But. Money. Not something we have a lot of right now. Don’t get me wrong, we’re not starving… but we also can’t eat take-out and hire a cleaner. So. Yeah. Scratch that solution.

And, of course, what also comes along for the ride in this expensive-ass city is paying more for rent to live in a postage-size apartment than many pay for their mortgage on a house with a yard and a white picket fence, etc etc. While this helps with the cleaning part (less to clean! YAY!) it doesn’t help with much else… Because you are always on top of one another, as well as the hundreds of others who live in your building and thousands of others on your block and millions of others on this one tiny little island.

And the living on top of each other part is where a lot of my frustration lies, I was realizing. As I described to my sister: some of my friends’ husbands are training to be surgeons, which means they are away. A LOT. They might see their children for an hour every other day, or so. But? When they ARE there with their family? They are THERE. Both physically and mentally present (as much as they can be, what with the sleep deprivation). My husband is in a different specialty, and what that has amounted to recently? Is that he is studying – from home. So he is actually physically present, quite a bit of the time. But mentally? NEVER. He is always, always thinking about the test/studying for the test/being annoyed that he’s being distracted from studying/etc. There is no separation between work and home for him, and so he is always absent (though physically there… which is it’s own problem, see next sentences. Would rather he was actually NOT physically there more of the time, paradoxically). Also? Due to the aforementioned tiny-ass apartment? His desk is in the living room. Which means Meeka and I are NOT in the living room. When your tiny living space is cut in half? THAT ALSO SUCKS DONKEY BALLS. Just sayin’…

So. That. Things still suck, the test is two weeks away, I am hanging on til then…

Meanwhile, while I was thinking all this, I read one of those posts that makes you stop and go, “YES! EXACTLY!” … She wrote much more eloquently about the truth of living in NYC:

“New York City takes all the basic facets of normal human existence away from you, and then sells them back to you one at a time as luxuries. Want a bathroom that fits more than one person at a time? That’ll cost ya. A bedroom door? Five hundred extra per month. Don’t even ask about closets; you don’t get those unless you work on Wall Street.”

And also this:

“the truth is that we’re just not reaping any of the benefits of living in Manhattan these days, and city living is getting in the way of our life more than it’s enhancing it.”

That, right there, is IT. Yes, my husband is NOT helping matters right now with his intense preoccupation with himself (ahem. his test. sorry) but the root cause of my frustration? Is situational, locational, perhaps even somewhat vocational (OK, not that last – just wanted to make it rhyme)

So that’s the update.

 

NYC baby

2012/03/16 1 comment

Some days it hits me how very different Meeka’s babyhood is from the one I knew… That here we are, raising a child in the city – and not just any city, but NEW YORK CITY. Crazy.

Categories: big bad city living

Swing!

The weather here in New York has been BEEEEEAUTIFUL this week, and WOW, what an amazing difference that one little thing can make to my mood!

We took advantage of the sun to go swinging this past weekend – a first for Meeka.

As a wee little one, she never took to her baby swings. Which is a polite way of saying, she flailed around and tried to claw her way out of them from the moment we set her in them til the moment we snatched her out, wondering who had switched our happy little girl with one who needed an exorcism. And so we said bye-bye to the baby swing.

So, I was a bit apprehensive about whether or not she’d like actual swings.

Turns out, she does.

Don’t let that finger fool ya… it may be a hidden message, but it’s not about the swings, oh no!

Those? Are totally nom-able.

We’re set to do it again this weekend.

And boy, are we excited!

SNOW!

2012/01/23 3 comments

This weekend was Meeka’s first snowstorm (not her first snow, as we had that this past October… and nothin’ since!)

OF COURSE we had to venture out in it right in the middle (when a dog’s gotta go, a dog’s gotta go)

(and this dog had to GO!)

Meeks wasn’t sure about the snow at first

But soon she got more into it…

(Though it was too cold to play for long)

And then Meeka was introduced to the best part of snow days: coming back inside to a warm home, hot cocoa (or boobie milk for her), piles of blankets, and lots of snuggles!

 


Categories: big bad city living

sunrise

2011/12/02 2 comments

every morning that it is nice, the three of us go out on an adventure, meeka, mooji, and me (adventures range from walking around the block to walking around the city, depending on the day and time and whether or not the dog does his business in a timely manner)

back when the fall was fall, and not this new winter weather, we went for a sunrise walk up up up to the park (sometimes we like to do this even on a weekday, just to glory in being together and outside and awake… though often the dog does more glorying than either of the humans)

this is what our little adventure looked like:

ready for a walk? yes ma’am, i am!

someday they will invent a fleece blanket that warm and inviting for grown-ups, indeed! (oh, wait! it’s called a snuggy!)

me too! me too!

if the sun is not up, momma’s gonna stop for coffee. lots and lots of coffee. (sorry, mooj, none for you!)

i can drink coffee while pushing a stroller, walking a dog, AND taking pictures of the sunrise! hello, my name is multi-tasker, what else can i do for you today?

we’ve made it to the park by the river in time for a glorious sunrise, oh yes!

of course, meeks isn’t looking at the sunrise so much as taking a nap…

and mooji’s sniff sniff sniffing

they don’t know what they’re missing

well, mooji knows what he’s missing – my breakfast. this is his begging face. human food? please? says he

the sun is up by the time we’ve shared my bagel, and it’s time to head home…

and we’re happy to be back there, as well!

Categories: big bad city living

marathon

2011/11/08 1 comment

You may have heard about this little event we had in our little ole city this past weekend… Just a small something we call the New York Marathon.

This was Meeka’s first marathon, and so we set out to cheer on those intrepid athletes:

We’re all ready to go watch the marathon! YAY!

We’re at the marathon, baby!

 

Baby?

Marathon!

Baby?

Oh yes indeed, Meeka fell asleep on the loooong half-block walk to get to the marathon, and then proceeded to embark on a nice long slumber for the rest of the afternoon… (I think the marathon was a big hit, don’t you?)

Categories: big bad city living